School is back, baby!

School is back in session! Just in time to break for Christmas. :P We started school again on November 21 and Christmas break starts December 17. Yup, that's 3 1/2 weeks before breaking off for 2 weeks. Due to the 3 extra weeks of break because of the flood, our days have been extended by 1 hour and we've lost quite a few work days and holidays. The end of school has also been pushed back by about 2 weeks. We're in for a long haul after Christmas. Yeehaw.

I have really loved seeing my kids again, though. They've all grown up so much! They are just starting to get back into the routine now, which means we'll have to start all over again in January. We've been working really hard on practicing our Christmas songs in our limited time that is even more limited by their attention spans. Even I am kind of sick of our songs. ME! The person who can do the same thing again and again long after everyone else gets bored to tears!

I'm not really sure what else to say here. There are highs and there are lows, and they tend to be fairly extreme. Working and living with the same group of people is not for the feint of heart, especially when you add worshiping and socializing together on top of it. Some days I am absolutely certain I will be here for some time yet because I don't think God is finished with me working in Thailand. Other days, I dream about jobs were it's easier to separate my professional and my social life. I'm pretty sure I'll be here one more year at least, but right now, I don't want to. Sorry for the heaviness, but this is where my heart is.

Floods

Hey all! This is just a quick update to let you know what's been happening here. For those unaware, there is major flooding all around the north and central part of Thailand. So far, my school is not flooded, but nearly everywhere around us is. It's very strange to go into the store and see no dry food or water on the shelves. Schools are shut down and people have been asked not to work in an effort to keep people out of the city. I am okay. I'm actually headed out of town tomorrow so that I can stay out of the water.

So here's what I've been thinking while all of this is going on. Our God is so much bigger and mightier than the flood waters. If people are this frightened of nature, which is under His control, how much more terrifying is the God who created it? As my pastor said recently, what do you do when you encounter a God big enough to crush death and also powerful enough to crush you? You get closer. I've been praying for God to use this to His glory, and I can already see that He has. A friend has been staying at my house for awhile as her house is now flooded. She is Buddhist and was never really interested in God before. Lately, we've been talking nearly every night about God. She asks me some tough questions, which are even more difficult to answer with the language gap, but she deeply wants to know. She has begun asking me about what God's voice is like, saying she wants to know. I've told her that she can ask God herself to speak to her and that He would if she would listen. She said she would try. Please, pray for her if you think of it. Also, please pray for the people of Thailand. It is a dark country, and God's light is just waiting to burst out. There are already cracks in the enemy's hold where you can see God's glory shine through. I'm praying for more cracks.

Until next time, thanks for reading! Leave me a comment if you want to make me smile. :)

Beaches and Sandbags and Floods...Oh My!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself that I needed to update my blog but wasn’t able to because of time constraints, lack of internet, or sometimes merely a loss of words to adequately describe what has been happening lately. To sum up, God is moving mightily. The enemy is also on the move. Fortunately, our God is greater than our enemy.

Right now, we are halfway through our 2 week break before the next semester. A lot has happened so far. On Monday, my first real day of vacation, I went with a friend to help at a nearby university that had been turned into a refuge for flood victims. The road was flooded out in places and the overpasses were clogged due to people parking their cars there to keep them out of the water. I saw people wading in waist-deep water on the street. It was definitely an eye-opening experience.
We showed up expecting to work with children or do some cleaning. Instead, we helped with sandbagging in preparation for the water that was still coming. At first we helped with unloading the trucks by creating a line to pass the bags down. 2 truckloads later, we split into teams to reinforce the doorways with plastic lining and sandbags a meter high. The next step was to go around the campus and rebuild improper sandbag walls to make them stronger. I now know a lot about the proper way to create a sandbag wall. Believe me, there is a certain skill in it. By the time the walls were rebuilt, it was time for my friend and me to leave. We were both pretty tired at the end.

The next day was spent in preparation, because Wednesday morning, I left to do an English camp with a bunch of local university students. We went to Pranburi, a nearby beach. The water level was very high because of all the water that has been flowing into it lately. The camp was a great success. I met a lot of great people and had tons of fun. I was able to talk about God with a few of them, which was wonderful. I’m now friends with many of them on Facebook, and I hope we’ll be able to stay in touch.

At first, there was a bit of chaos, as we’d planned on breaking up into 4 groups and had skits and songs and games etc planned with 4 groups in mind. Once we got there, however, we found out that they had decided to make 5 groups instead of 4. Sigh. So, I gave my skit to Naomi, who I was supposed to teach with, and created a new skit for my group. It actually wasn’t that bad. Basically, I had two groups of pirates, the first of which was following directions on a map to find some treasure. Partway into the hunt, the second group pops in and says “This is our treasure!” The first group resists, and a bad pirate tells them to “prepare to die!” Then they started shooting at each other until all of the bad pirates are dead. The good pirates yell out that they one, and then they leave. Then, we all sang a song about a baby shark. The best part was that there were only a few simple lines, so we had a lot of time to sit around and talk and let them practice their English and ask questions. We played a few language games and I tried to make it comfortable for them to try and speak. I had a great Thai co-leader who helped me a lot. We definitely had a lot of fun!

At night, some of the guys played guitar and a few of us sat around and sang with them. One guy, Nhor (pronounced “Naw”) really enjoyed singing. He was nearly always flat, but he had so much fun with it that it didn’t matter. It made it more fun because you didn’t really care about singing with a pretty voice. It wouldn’t matter if you did. One thing that I learned from this is that I apparently need to brush up on a lot of songs from The Beatles, The Carpenters, The Beejees, and Michael Jackson if I want to have a lot of songs to sing with them in the future. 

Coming back from the beach took a lot longer than it did getting there. While we were gone, one of the dams upstream broke, flooding more houses. Many more roads were submerged. Most of the time, the water was waist high. There was so much that it started coming through the doors of the bus. I wasn’t sure what we’d find at the school, but fortunately, the water has not yet made it here. It’s definitely coming, though.
This morning, I looked at the street drains and the water level was about 20-30 cm from the street. By the evening, it was half that. My roommate went and helped sandbag the pier, and by the time they left, the water had made it to the first intersection. I’ve gotten everything of value up to where the water can’t get it and have stored up food and water. There are no more non-perishable foods to be found anywhere. Shelves in stores are bare. It’s a very surreal feeling to climb over a wall of sandbags into a store to see empty shelves. I’m not too worried, though, because I’m sure that when the water gets here, our school will likely evacuate and take us somewhere safe. There is talk about extending the break for another week or so depending on the water. I’m not entirely sure what will happen, but I do know that God is in control. I’m not panicking and I’m trying not to worry. My life is not at stake, merely inconvenience and discomfort. I can live with that. Prayers, however, would definitely be appreciated. People have and still are dying because of the flood, but as my pastor reminded us this morning, the water has no effect on the situation that has already been in place. People who do not know God are dying and going to Hell. That is what was happening before the flood and what will still be happening when the water goes down. That is the greatest tragedy. So yes, please pray for safety and provision, but most importantly, pray that God will use this to draw people to Himself. All things work together to give glory to God. His will be done! Amen!

Retreats, Talks, and Tennant attempts

I hope that this post will prove that, no, the bite did not in fact succeed in killing me. ;) It's healing well now, though I still have a large black spot on the tip of my nose where it is still healing. Fortunately, my nose is back to its regular size and no longer painful. The antibiotics I am on are very good, though they have a few nasty side effects. I'll be very happy when I'm done with them in a few days. The sensitivity to the sun is not fun, but it's the crazy dreams that really get to me.

Today, I got back from our annual staff retreat to Pattaya. It's a great time to get to know our Thai staff more as ell as bond more as a team. I really bonded with my friend, Kru Nee, who is the office administrator. Kru Nee is older, but very sweet, and I really love her. She is also definitely the person to know if you need anything! When my friend, Ellen, visited last Christmas, Kru Nee was the one who arranged our train tickets.

My favorite part about hanging out with Kru Nee this weekend was when we were able to talk about God's will in our lives. We were talking about plans for returning, and she was reiterating that she thinks I should stay for 10 years. I laughed and told her that it was up to God. In a semi-rare moment of seriousness, she asked me what I meant by that. She said that every year, farang (foreign) teachers would say that it was up to God but she wasn't sure what it meant. I tried to explain that when I pray and listen to God, He can show me where He wants me to be and what He wants me to be doing. I told her how my own plan for my life was so small. All I wanted was to be a married housewife with children. That was my dream. Praise the Lord, He had bigger dreams for me, and praise Him further for His patience and persistence when I stubbornly resisted Him. I finished by telling Kru Nee that if God tells me to stay in Thailand, I will stay and be happy. If He tells me to go to another country, I will go and still be happy. If He tells me to return to the States, He may need to do a bit of work in me, but I will still be happy, because He is happiness. There is no way to fully explain the joy and peace that comes from knowing that you are exactly where God wants you to be doing exactly what he wants you to do. It far surpasses any dream I could dream for myself.

Well, we returned back to the school this afternoon, giving us the rest of the day and tomorrow for a weekend. Love it! My roommates and I decided to go see a movie and get some dinner. I jokingly threw out the suggestion of Fright Night, simply because David Tennant is in it and I wanted to see him. (For those who don't know, David Tennant is the new love of my moment. His acting is incredible and I just can't get enough.) Anyway, my roommates agreed, though I have no idea why, really, other than that there is not much else that is playing at the moment. So, we got to the theater and got some dinner. Eunice bought the tickets while we got the food, and she bought a ticket for the 3:20 showing. Just a few moments later, a guy came back and said that he had to exchange our tickets for the 4:50 showing for some reason. We had nothing else planned, so it was fine. When we got to the theater, we sat through the obligatory commercials and previews for about 20 minutes, stood for the king's anthem, and started the movie. We hadn't even gotten to the title showing before they shut the movie off and turned on the lights. We sat there for a bit wondering what was going on. The guys at the door said it would just be a few minutes, so e settled in and did our normal chatter, mostly about the ridiculousness of the situation. Another fifteen minutes or so later, they restarted the movie. It was fuzzy and kept going in and out of focus. It played for about a minute before it stopped and the lights came on again. Finally, about five minutes later it started to play again, creating a feeling not unlike Groundhog Day when you already know what will happen next. So, the movie is finally playing and it's in focus and we've seen more than the first five minutes...and it's in Thai. Yes, it is dubbed over with a Thai soundtrack.

We left.

As we were leaving, we talked to the assistant manager who wrote on our tickets so that we can redeem them to see it again some other day without having to pay for the tickets all over again. Here's to delayed gratification! All I can say is that the acting better be worth the trouble! I'm expecting cheesiness and cheep shots that I can make fun of. We shall see. We shall see.

Trips and Bites

As I'm sure you can well imagine, much has changed in the last month. For one thing, I now have good internet so I might actually be able to update more easily now. Yay! Unfortunately, my computer is now giving me a lot of trouble, so we will see. Hopefully, I'll soon be able to get a new computer.

In other news, August was a month filled with a lot of mission opportunities and trials. The second eek of August, I went with a group to the city of Mae Sot in the northwestern part of Thailand. We did a weekend girls retreat for some Burmese and Karen refugees that attend a migrant school that my church here is associated with. We took the girls to a hotel and pretty much just tried to shower them with love. The theme was "Poured Out for Him" based on the story of the woman anointing Jesus' feet just prior to his crucifixion. Our last day, I had the opportunity to tell the story to the girls. The story hinges on giving Him all that we have to offer, and His acceptance. He didn't tell the woman that she wasn't giving enough or that she needed to change before she could touch Him. He accepted her, just like He accepts us.

I was a group leader for 8 girls. Over the 2 1/2 days we were there, I came to really care about them a lot. I'm hoping to go up again in October, though I have a bit of a different vision for that trip. What is on my heart at the moment is a desire to help the teachers of the school by giving them some support and tools on how to be a better teacher as well as a mini-discipleship program with the intent of having them continue to support each other. Fortunately, my roommate is the one who planned the girls' retreat, and she is helping me with this. If I had to do it alone, it s unlikely that it would ever happen.

The trip to Mae Sot is a 6 hour van ride each way. On the way home, my neck got tweaked, causing a lot of pain. This did allow me to compare chiropractics in Thailand with those in the States, however, so that was fun. I'm actually glad that it happened on the retreat, though, because it gave me the opportunity to explain why I was in the van.

The most recent adventure, though, was hen I woke up on Thursday last week with a bite on my nose. I thought it was just a bad mosquito bite because I tend to get bitten by them often. However, my nose soon began swelling and becoming red and painful. by then I knew it was a spider bite. I went to the hospital on Saturday and got some antibiotics. My nose continued to get worse and by Sunday night, a small patch of black skin was on the tip. Monday, I went to a different hospital where they sent me to a dermatologist who gave me a different antibiotic. The new medicine works, but it has some pretty nasty side effects, so I had to take the last 2 days off of work. Teaching 3 year olds tends to be hindered when you can't move quickly, lean over, or speak much without fear of throwing up or passing out. Oh, and the fact that my entire face is in pain. My face is getting better now, but it's a process, and a fairly painful one at that.

Here's the thing though: I don't believe for one moment that this was an accident or coincidence or anything of the kind. This was a spiritual attack. The same day I woke up with a bite, my roommate woke up with yet another complication to her surgery wound. A surgery that is performed thousands of times around the world with few complications. Our other roommate, meanwhile, is still undergoing pain from a cyst that is abnormally large and not going away as they typically do. All of this is on top of the spirit of division and isolation that has already been plaguing many of the teachers here. Those who know me wall should be aware that I do no talk like this lightly. I can actually feel the darkness trying to press in. It's a tangible force.

On Sunday, I was overwhelmed by the spiritual warfare taking place all around us every moment, though we're so often blind to it. It was while praying in church that I had a picture in my mind. I saw myself standing in the full armor of God with the enemy pushing me down and trying to crush me. I had the shield of faith and the sword of truth with me, but my instruction was not to fight. I was told to stand firm. Stay exactly where I was, don't back down, just stand there. At this time, I'm asking my fellow Christians to do the same. Face the enemy and stand firm, knowing that we have a Champion who battles for us. Don't lose faith, don't despair, don't be afraid. Just stand.

Until next time!

Underlying forces

One thing that is certain is that you cannot live in Thailand very long without being made aware of the unseen world that has a strong grip on the people in this country. Like much of Asia, Thailand is very aware of spiritual forces that surround their daily lives. Beautifully gilded temples are scattered throughout the land. Personal altars and god houses are in yards and in front of businesses with food and incense offerings. Feng shui is not just a cool alternate way of decorating; it has a strong spiritual focus with the intent of letting in good spirits and blocking out bad spirits. Taxi drivers have mini altars on their dashboards and blessings painted on the roof over their heads. Monks receive their alms daily in exchange for a blessing. Small idols are worn on necklaces to keep bad spirits away. Fortune tellers have incredible power behind their words. There is a war going on every day, and when I open my eyes, I can see myself on the front line.

Recently, a new lady has been coming to the small group I meet with every Wednesday. I'm really glad that she started attending, because her story astounds me. First of all, let me begin by saying that there's nothing remarkable about her. She's very nice, seems sweet, and I like her, but she is an ordinary person. She is American and has been living in Thailand for about 8 years now with her husband and children, and teaches English in her home. In other words, she could easily be me in a few years. Several weeks ago, she began telling us about her story. She lives in a nice neighborhood in the outskirts of Bangkok, near where I live. She says she'd always gotten along well with her neighbors until recently when one of them, a woman, began acting strangely. She would constantly have incense burning all day. Not little sticks that give a pleasant aroma. Huge sticks that permeate the air and create a cloying heaviness. My friend asked her neighbor why she was doing this, and her answer was that she needed to do this because of a different religion that had moved in. My friend's family are the only Christians in a Buddhist neighborhood. I won't go into details, but the neighbor's actions increased to where there was no doubt that it was focused on my friend's house. It seems her favorite activity now is to stand and stare at my friends house, giving it the evil eye. To my western friends who do not understand, it sounds trivial, but it is no joking matter. My friend is concerned about her children. She had the Thai church come to pray over her house last week, and the attacks increased. I am not going into details, but much more than smoke and staring are going on.

When telling her story, one of our Thai friends suggested that her neighbor had probably gone to see a fortune teller. She said that if the fortune teller had told her to expel the foreign God, that it would explain a lot of her actions. My friend tried talking to her neighbor, but it was useless. Her neighbor again and again said that she had to do it, that she didn't want to but she had to. Our suspicion is that she has a spirit inside her that is controlling her.

When I think of a fortune teller, I usually think of some mixture of Whoppy Goldberg in Ghost and the Zoltar machine from Big. It's almost a joke, and just something you do for fun. I have a hard time taking them seriously. Here, however, it is a whole different playing field. It makes sense, if you think about it, though. As a Christian, I believe it when the Bible says that Jesus and His disciples cast out demons. If they cast them out, they must have existed in the first place. It makes logical sense that demons would no suddenly disappear after the Church was founded. It makes sense, yet it seems so fantastical that I sometimes have trouble accepting it. I have a feeling being here will only open my eyes further.

Believe it or not, a lot has happened since my last update. On a national scale, Thailand had the PM election on Sunday. There were 2 main parties (1 and 10), though technically about 40 parties were running. Interestingly, when a PM is elected, his whole party is elected along with him, which cuts down on the filibustering, I would imagine. Party 1 was the red shirt party, and their leader, Mr. Thaksin, won. This is the leader who was exiled much to the anger of many Thai. By winning the election, he is able to return to Thailand. If he had lost, he would not have been able to return. I can only imagine what it must have been like to be completely dependent on your countrymen deciding whether or not you could return home after a few years. I don't know the details, but it would have to create a bit of anxiety. So far, things are pretty quiet, but we will see what the next few months hold.

On a personal basis, I am back from Laos. The trip was quite frustrating for various reasons. I ended up missing one of my documentations that the school was supposed to have sent with me, so I could not apply for the non-B visa that I need to work in Thailand (kind of like a green card). I had the school fax what I thought was needed, but it wasn't, so I paid 100 baht for an unnecessary fax. Finally, after getting a tourist visa so that I could at least get back home, we got to the hotel.

Now, I had been riding in a bus from 10pm to 6am where I immediately stood in line at the Thai border, then the Laos border, and then again at the embassy until 3pm. During this time, I didn't eat, so I was pretty hungry by the time dinner was served. It was actually pretty good. Then again, almost anything would have tasted great at that point! During dinner, I was able to talk to a few people. Somehow, the conversation was turned to God and I was able to talk to them about salvation, prayer, and Heaven and Hell. The lady said that I was the first person to talk to them about God in the 3 years they'd been in Thailand. She then asked me to pray for Collin, her partner. She actually kept asking me about every time she saw me over the next 24 hours. I said that I would, and have been trying to pray for all 3 of the people I talked to ever since. This was the highlight of the trip, and just about the only bright spot other than the fact that God was able to help me keep a fairly good attitude about it all. Yes, it was frustrating, but at least I had faith that somehow it would all work out. By the end of the embassy run, I was nearly okay with anything.

So, the next day, we left to go back to Thailand. At the Thai border, I ran into some more trouble when the border officer could not find my stamp from leaving Laos. He said I had to go back to the border, wait in line there, get a stamp, then come back to the Thai border, get a stamp, and then I'd be able to leave. Ugh. I went to the lady who handled our passports, and she pointed out the Laos stamp that did in fact exist in my passport, just on a different page. I can't say I blame the guy, though, as it really did blend in with the background on my pages. By the way, can I just say that the new passports are pretty, but very annoying when it comes to finding stamps. Most border stamps are blue or red or a combo. The pages are perfectly tinted that they are really hard to see them. It is very annoying. I miss the old passport look. Anyway, I showed him the stamp and I was able to get across. Just in time to wait some more.

So, after leaving the border, we continued on our merry way back to Bangkok. One thing that was nice was that 2 people did not come back with us (not sure the story) so it was less crowded. Also, one of the guys bought a few movies, so we watched them on our drive. About halfway there, we stopped at one of the gas stations, only to be told that the station was out of gas. The driver than told us that we'd just have to wait until the truck came in the morning. Praise the Lord he was joking. Though to be honest, my thought process at that point was: sure, why not! We drove on and stopped at another station, and it was fine.

We finally pulled in at Bangkok around midnight. I asked him to drop me off where I had met them at the BTS station (sky train), thinking I could take it to the other end and then try to catch a taxi as it would probably be cheaper. It probably would have been, if the trains had still been running. So, I had to get a taxi after all. It wasn't too bad--about 200 baht. I got home around 1am, and I was pretty tired. My roommate was asleep in my room. I think she was planning on welcoming me home, but I'm glad she slept instead as it was so late. I got about 4-5 hours of sleep before getting up to teach in the morning. I can tell you one thing though, coffee never tasted so good as it did that morning.

Friday was a teacher workday, so I had a break from teaching. They were spraying for mosquitoes, so I had to flee the campus for a few hours. We ended up wandering around a mall for a few hours. The original intent was to watch a movie, but no good ones were playing at the mall we went to. They just had Transformers 3 (already saw), Green Lantern (saw and didn't like) and a Thai movie that I had absolutely no interest in.

So, I had a nice long weekend to rest and catch up, and next weekend is a long holiday, so I'll have even more time. A few of us were thinking of heading out to the beach, but we'll see if it happens. Somehow, I ended up being the only planner in the group, which is ridiculous because I'm really not a planner, just in comparison. So, we'll see if we can get a place to stay, as a lot of people are heading out that weekend. Honestly, I'd love to go to the beach, but I hate planning and packing to such an extent that I'd be okay just hanging out in Bangkok. We shall see.

This up coming week, we have Open House, so I'm trying to get my room ready. It looks pretty good, and will look even better once I get some kid work up. Ah the joys of having a TA!

Laos Bound!

Well, it turns out that i really should have gotten my passport renewed while in Thailand, because it has turned into a huge hassle. My re-entry permit expired with my old passport in May, so I was only granted a 30 day travel visa when I arrived. I went to immigration earlier this week to get my new work permit for the year, only to find out after several hours that I needed to go to the other immigration office. One of the ladies in the office went for me with my papers, but the Ministry of Education told her that it was too close to the expiration of my visa and I had to get a new one. This means that I need to flee the country for a few days. The original plan was for me to go to Cambodia on Thursday. My visa expires on Tuesday, so this would mean that I'd have to pay a fine of 1000 baht. I'd also have to be there for 2 days and 2 nights. There is a professional development workday on Friday where I am supposed to lead a discussion on classroom management. Thursday was the only day because the elections on Sunday mean that the company would not be making their Monday run this week. This plan did not make me very happy. So, we called another company, and made arrangements for me to go to Laos on Sunday night to return on Tuesday night. This plan is much better. :) I'm anticipating confusion and a general sense of having no idea what's happening while undergoing my new adventure. Oh, and a new pretty stamp for my new pretty passport. Yay for small joys!

Let the chaos commence!

Day 1--one crier
Day 2--still one crier
Day 3--five criers plus vomit. Aaand we're back. ;)

Well, it was a more eventful day today. The first 2 days it was kindergarten only, with the rest of the students starting today. Oh, the lovely chaos. Actually, I do like it better with the extra energy. I was able to see my students from last year and got a lot of hugs and high-5s as a result. This was nice after having a few students who still scream when they see me because I look different. I guess I can't blame them, though. I have very little in common with your average Thai woman.

My students are still slowly warming up to me and learning to communicate with me. it will definitely be a long road ahead of us, but I do think we'll get there. Now to rest up for day 4!

First day of school!

Well, today was my first day of school, and at the end of it, all I can say is: is it bedtime yet? Actually, yes, yes it is, because it's after 11 pm here and I have school in the morning, but before I succumb to the lure of slumber, here's a few thoughts about the day.

For those who don't know (or forgot), I'm teaching k1 this year, which means 3 year olds! I have 16 students and 2 Thai teachers, though I really only work with one of them. Kru Som has been an amazing asset, and essentially set up the entire room for me. All I had to do was so the bulletin board and lesson planning. It was a huge relief, especially when all the other teachers were scrambling to make their rooms nice. Ha ha! Of course, my one responsibility, the board, looks pretty pathetic at the moment because it wasn't even in my room until late Monday afternoon. School started Tuesday. Hmm. Oh well! It's probably a good thing, as I wouldn't want to overstimulate them anyway. Right now, I have a few things set up, and I plan to add to it as we move along. I also plan to be busy this weekend. We'll see if it actually happens.

As it is the first few days of school, we end our days early. Today and tomorrow, school ends at 12. On Thursday and Friday, it will end at 2 (as opposed to 3:40). This doesn't make a huge difference to me, though, as the kindergarten schedule is set up so that I am essentially done teaching by the time they go to lunch at 11. I have center time with them later, but that is mostly activities based, not learning.

My kids are very cute, just as I expected. out of the 14 students who came today, I only had 1 crier. He's very melodramatic, and I can already identify him by his cry! We'll see how many criers I have over the next few weeks. In my experience, it sometimes takes awhile before the kids realize that they're being left and that they are not okay with that. Here's hoping they don't get too bad!

Well, there's not much more to say. After teaching, i took a nap and then went down to Khao Sahn for some falafel, mango sticky rice, and a mani/pedi. Oh, the hardships of teaching overseas. ;) Goodnight!

Thoughts of Home...All Three of Them

Can I just start by saying how awesome it is to finally be warm again? It's wonderful. The whole time I was in the States, I was freezing. Except, of course, the few days I was in Georgia. The weather is actually really nice right now. It's not as hot as it was this time last year. It has also been raining, which seems a bit unusual, as monsoon season isn't supposed to be for another few months. I don't know why it surprises me, though, as the weather seems to be weird everywhere and unseasonably cool. Strange.

It’s election time here in Thailand! That means that there are posters lining the streets and trucks with loudspeakers troll up and down the streets. The posters are interesting in that half of them depict animals wearing business suits. Each animal means something in Thai culture. The water buffalo is warning voters to not allow stupid people into government. There are also dogs, monkeys, and a komodo dragon, which has a name synonymous with a very bad Thai word (which I can’t remember the translation for). I believe voting is sometime this week, but I’m not positive. Voting is about every 4 years, and they vote on everything, rather than the yearly elections in the States where it varies on what is being voted on.

In addition to the political posters that have sprung up, there has also been a lot of construction that has started while I was gone. Last year, they started work on the BTS (sky train) branching out to Nonthaburi. It will go close by to my school, and should be completed in about 3 years. If I’m still here when it’s done, getting around will be infinitely easier. It’s incredible how much progress they’ve made in the 2 months I was in the States. Also, they’ve completed an apartment building that they were working on last year. Coming home from the airport was interesting, as everything looked so different.

Work is also being done at my school. The administration building (where I lived last year on the top floor) has been mostly torn down to make a completely new front. It should be beautiful when it’s done, but in the meantime, there are trucks and dust and demolition. Offices have been shuffled all over campus, making it a bit difficult to find things at times. My curriculum, for example, is MIA, which makes it hard to do my lesson plans and year overview. All in all, it’s not too bad, though. Life is too short to let things outside your control fluster you. Adjust.

Yesterday was my first day back at my church, and it was good to reunite with friends. The service was incredible. The pastor is working through 1 Peter, and yesterday’s topic dealt with holiness. This seems to be a theme for me this year, as I was struggling with the concept of holiness just a few weeks ago as I prepared for the upcoming school year.

I have decided to do a year-long study on the character of God with my students to give them a base of knowledge so that they know who I am talking about when I say “God.” One characteristic I want to discuss is God’s holiness. Have you ever tried to explain to someone what holiness is? Now try to think about how to explain it to 3 year olds who do not have a firm understanding of English. You can see my struggle. What really stood out to me, however, was that God’s holiness is synonymous with His deity. The writers of the Bible did not have to prove His holiness. He is holiness. Period.

Anyway, Pastor David was talking about the fine balance between already being perfect and God continuing to work out that perfection in our lives. We are forgiven and are still being forgiven. As one of my professors called it, it’s the state of being “already and not yet.” We tend as imperfect humans to vacillate between being fixated on our sins and the despair that it produces, and our recognition of our status as children of God and the corresponding arrogance that can often arise. Pastor David called it the “Gospel balance” as we try to learn how to live being fully aware of our shortcomings while being confident in our Lord’s saving grace.

Something I really appreciated about the sermon was his inclusion of why we should be holy. This is important to me, as I can often get waylaid by my motivating factors. Intent is important to me, sometimes more so than the actions themselves. So the question remains, why should I struggle to be holy when it’s so difficult? Firstly, it is because we are reminded that this is not our true home. This world is not the truest reality. My citizenship is in Heaven, and I am a foreigner in this land. This is especially meaningful to me as I am living in a foreign land.

As you can imagine, and anyone who has spent considerable time in another country can vouch for, there are certain experiences that happen when you live in a different culture from the one you were raised in. People talk differently and have different methods to accomplish tasks. To survive, you have to learn how to communicate and adjust to the new way. You change your own actions and ways of expressing yourself. This is not to say that who you are changes, merely the outward expression of who you are. I’ll say something else, foreigners are obvious. It doesn’t matter how proficient I may become in the language, I will always be distinctly different because this is not my true home.

This is part of what Peter was saying when he admonished believers to be in the world but not of the world. We learn to communicate with people, adopting some of their mannerisms and customs, but it must not come at the expense of forgetting who we are. As a Christian, my only true home is in heaven where I will be with Jesus. My time here is merely a visitation.

Two aspects of holiness are being distinct and being different. Being different, or special, is something that God does in my life as He refines me. He is making me into a new creation. Being distinct, however, is something that I need to do. I have the choice to allow myself to blend in as another citizen of the world, or to allow God to make me clearly different in such a way that it is obvious to others that I don’t think the way that the world thinks.

Pastor David went on to say many other things, but unfortunately, the time has come for me to get back to work. School starts for me tomorrow, and there is much still to be done. I’m not sure how much of it will actually be accomplished, but that which is important will be done, and the rest will have to be finished later.

As always, prayers are much appreciated. Currently, prayers for my roommates are at the front of my mind. One roommate is in the States recovering from an infection contracted while healing from a surgery several months ago, and my other roommate found out the other day that she will be needing surgery soon. Hopefully this is not a trend, and I will not need surgery myself. Please also pray for the students who will be coming back to school this week. Pray that their hearts will be open to God’s love, and that the teachers will be bright lights in a dark country. Thanks for reading, and God bless!

Hello to family and friends across the ocean! I made it safely back to Thailand, though I did have a little excitement on the way. I had a scheduled 4 hour layover in Tokyo that turned into an 8 hour layover when they announced that there was a mechanical problem with the engine. Of course, they announced this after we had circled back to Tokyo after being in the air for an hour. With a broken engine. Fun times.

By the time I made it home from the airport, it was 4:30 in the morning, and orientation was set for 8:30. Needless to say, I was just a bit tired, but thankfully not too much due to the sleep I was able to get on the plane.
This year is definitely already different from last year. I have a new apartment with my roommates, and it’s much nicer than where we were staying before. Best points: no mosquitoes, no traffic noise, and praise the Lord no karaoke! My room is very cute, and I am already starting to feel settled in it. We also have a living room area that needs a lot of work, but I have a vision of it being great once it’s finished.

So far, I have only seen Thai friends who either work on campus or own shops down the soi, but I’ve been welcomed back pretty warmly. P Nee, especially has been missed. I get my coffee at her shop every morning, eat there at least once or twice a week, and she helps me with my Thai. I’m a slow learner, but she’s pretty patient with my stumbling to learn single phrases.

School starts on Tuesday, so I have been busy trying to get everything together. Fortunately, I don’t have a whole lot to do in my room because the awesome Kru Som has already set it up into center areas. The only thing I have left to do is the morning calendar area. One project that I’ve undertaken is creating alphabet cards to go on the top of my boards. They turned out very cute, if I may say so myself. I am finally getting my schedule today, so I can work on the actual lesson planning portion, which I’m very excited about.

A number of years ago, I had a conversation with someone about how we always have enough time for what is important to us. None of us have the luxury of saying that we do not have time for something. We do. All of us have the same number of hours in the day. No one gets more hours than anyone else (unless you fly east across the Pacific and cross the date line, of course!). Now, how people fill those hours differs greatly, and there are different levels of responsibility, but the truth remains that you will always have enough time for what you make a priority.

So here’s the point. I don’t like this truth. I want to be able to say that I just didn’t have enough time to do all that I wanted to do. It’s not true. What is true is that I placed other things as having more import. In my 2 months in the States, I was able to see many of my friends and spend some good quality time with my parents and my sister and her family. It was great. I also was able to finish a few projects hanging over my head, and run a few errands that needed to be accomplished. Were there things I did not do that I wanted to? Of course, but to be honest, it’s unlikely that I would get around to them if I’d been back longer simply because I did not make them important. Another few months probably would not change that.
I can’t really complain, though. I was able to two weddings, see who I needed to see, and spend at least some time with those I love. Those who made the time to see me saw me, and that spoke volumes.
Now to manage my time here in Thailand so that I’m prioritizing what needs to be prioritized. May this be another year glorifying to God.

God Is Love...No Really, HE Is!!

Throughout the school year, I've been going over the Fruits of the Spirit with my students. We're down to the wire now, and are finishing Love, with Patience being our last fruit. (Get it, they had to wait for it.) Anyway, what better depiction of love than the resurrection story? So, we've spent pretty much the entire month of February on the build-up to and the after-math of the resurrection, as well as what happened in between. By the way, my interpretation of Peter's bravado in pledging his sword to Jesus' defense was received quite humorously. Moving on. Yesterday was our last day, and I truly felt the Spirit moving me to speak. During the entire year, I've been talking to my kids about why Jesus had to die, but yesterday, I suddenly saw it all so clearly.

Like many people, I've long had the struggle of saying that Jesus is the ONLY way to get to heaven. It sounds so egotistical to claim that I know the only true way, and anyone who believes differently is wrong and misguided, implying that I am much cleverer than them. I don't like feeling that way, as I know full well that there are people much smarter than me out there, many of whom do believe in a different religion. Anyway, yesterday when I was speaking with my kids, it felt like I had an epiphany. One of the first things I taught my kids was that the punishment for sin is death. That is a fact stated very clearly in the Bible. If you sin, it is a separation from God, and it makes you ineligible to go to Heaven. If you make 100 good decisions and 1 sin, you deserve to die and go to Hell. If you do 1000 good deeds and sin once, you still deserve to go to Hell. This is hard to accept, but that's the way of things. The only people who deserve to go to Heaven are perfect people who have never done a single sin from the day they were born to the day they died. Unfortunately for us, it is impossible for us to earn our way into Heaven. Fortunately, one Person did earn His way into Heaven. Jesus had to be born so that He could live a life worthy of earning a place in Heaven. When He died on the cross, He willingly offered to switch places with us. He went to Hell to take our place so we could use His good works and sinless life to get into Heaven. Like I said, only Perfect people deserve a ticket into Heaven. At the cross, Jesus offered us a seat swap. He took our place in Hell so we could take His place in heaven. I know that I'm repeating myself, but it's so astounding, I can't quite get over it.

The depth of love and self-sacrifice inherent in God's character stuns me. Once in awhile, I get a glimpse of how deep His love for humanity is, and it floors me. With His love, then, must come pain that I can't even fathom at the hate and hurt in the world. I tend to see myself as being somewhat tough and cynical, but then I hear stories that horrify me, and I realize I'm not as hardened as I've allowed myself to believe--and thank God for that!

Recently, I went up to Mae Sot, which is a town in the North of Thailand that is mostly filled with Burmese refugees. I was a part of a group that was visiting an orphanage that they had gone to a few months ago. We painted the girls' dormitory to make it a more cheerful habitat, as well as minister to the children and assist the on-site teachers with their needs. When we were returning, I was talking with a woman in our group who mentioned that the reason why we were able to visit the orphanage was because we were affiliated with the organization Imagine Thailand through our church, Evangelical Church of Bangkok. We were entering the compound through Imagine Thailand's reputation, and would likely not have been allowed in otherwise. Sadly, there are groups of people who enter orphanages claiming to help, only to prove to be child traffickers. They have to be very careful to try and protect their children so they don't end up being taken and then sold. Unfortunately, Thailand is huge in the human trafficking arena, especially with sex slaves. The industry is huge, and frightening in how widespread it is. I'm not very connected with this part of Thailand, my only real connection being that I attend a church that has an outreach to these people, but it definitely tugs on me. Sometimes, I look around, and I realize how sad God must be at the pain that fills His world. I don't know why He allows it to happen, but I trust Him when He says that, even when it looks hopeless, He is still always in control.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Bollax

bol*lax: (adj) an expression reserved for umpleasantly hopeless situations.

Well, that's my definition, anyway. Today started off as a bollax day. This was probably aided by my recent inability to sleep an entire night, which has resulted in two weeks worth of fatigue and irritability. There's a reason why I haven't been hanging around very many people lately. I want them to still like me, and not say stupid things to drive them away in a moment of extreme irritation. To this end, I keep my irrational self to myself.

Anyway, so I was already tired, but I was feeling pretty good, because I'd just gotten a new haircut and wanted to show it off to my family during our weekly skype session. I made myself all pretty, went down early, and settled in to wait for them to log on. There was just one little problem. During my wait, my computer decided that it could no longer connect to the internet. This has happened before, but usually when I'm some distance from the internet source, not 5 FEET AWAY!!!! So, I spent about half an hour fighting with it before giving up. Of course, the internet is working just fine for the staff computers, but I can't skype with them. :( Sadness.

Anyway, it was in the midst of my cursing the internet and its supposed parentage that I took a moment to think about why I'm so bothered by not talking to my family for one week. This has happened before, but not with this extreme of a reaction. The conclusion I came to is that I'm homesick. It took me 9 months to get there, but I am. I miss my family, especially Noah and Abby, and all I want is to hug them for at least 10 minutes straight (Or as long as I can get with a 4 year old).

Follow that up with the fact that a situation has recently arisen where I could really use some advice from my sister. I hate that I can't just go over to her house and flop down on her couch for some girl talk. I have great friends here, but it's not quite the same as having a heart to heart with someone who has known you your entire life. It really helps move things along when you don't have to preface the scenario with a personal background for the full effect to be understood.

So, I miss my family. I still love living and teaching in Thailand, but I want to go home. Just for a few days, and then return, but that's not really possible.

Yes, this note is a downer. I'm hoping the next one will be brighter.

Thoughts of Love...but not like you think

Look at that, another blog already! Maybe I am (finally) getting back onto my pattern. Okay, the topic for the day is...wait for it...love. Ah, love. The feeling that creates illusions of tiptoeing through clouds, oblivious to the world below and around you. Having never experienced this emotion, all that I can know about it is what I've seen and read about. And that leads me to my issue. I didn't realize for a long time that it was an issue, but I'm becoming more aware that it is, in fact, a wide-spread pandemic that corrupts the minds of those it touches.

Let me start from the beginning. I was on the treadmill the other day, letting my mind frolic in a meandering way through flights of fancy, and I began thinking about why teenage romances are so popular among people (mostly female) of all ages. Why are we so drawn to the idea of young love? Why not old love, or mature love? What is it about the youth that appeals, other than the obvious distaste in general for age which only serves as a reminder of our own mortality? And then I started thinking about how teenage love is usually characterized. Typically, the boy and girl become completely obsessed with each other to some degree. Family, friends, school, nothing else is as important as this other person, their "soul mate." The very reason for their existence on the planet is wrapped up in this one individual. Any time where they are separated is deemed as empty space, a waiting period until they can be rejoined with the one they love so desperately.

Is that really what love is? Real life teaches us that, no, it's not like that at all. The best and healthiest relationships that I've seen are when there is a balance between time together and time apart. The strongest relationships I've seen are when they don't need to constantly be with each other to prove their love. They each have their own lives, in which the other is inextricably twined without completely dominating everything. In fact, couples that neglect everything and everyone in their lives for the sake of the person they claim to love usually end up exhausting themselves or the other person at some point. And when that point comes, they have nothing left in their life to fill the void.

So why, if we know this, do we perpetuate the myth that another person can be the answer to your quest for self worth? If you can just find that one person who was meant for you, your life will have meaning, and you'll finally be happy. Bulls**t. The truth, as far as I can see, is that having another person in your life, no matter how important that person might be, will not ultimately affect your outlook on life or your concept of yourself. If you were miserable before you were married, why do you think you'll suddenly be singing like Maria from the Sound of Music after you have a ring on your finger? It's sure fun to sing about "climbing every mountain," but unless you have the inner strength to actually do it, you'll find yourself either huffing at the bottom while everyone goes ahead, or force others to carry the burden of your weight as you attempt to schlep along, fostering resentment in them with every step.

So again, I ask, why do we delude ourselves with these unrealistic expectations? The answer, of course, is as simple as it is unpalatable. The only one we really need is God. He created us with a sense of dependency, of the knowledge that there's something more to life beyond ourselves. He made us with a knowledge that everything we are, everything we need, comes from Him. We can never be too needy or too dependent on Him, because His love knows no end. When we pin all of our hopes on another person, we're trying to fit them into a place that only God can fill. This is a dangerous position for people to be in, because people simply are not God. Duh.

When I was a kid, I'd sometimes sit in a cardboard box (or the occasional paper bag) and pretend that I was in some kind of transport vehicle. Usually it was a car. Hey, I was a kid, not some creative genius. Anyway, despite how much fun I had playing in my box (or bag), when it was time to go somewhere, I'd get into the real thing. People who try to use another person to fill the God-void are like someone who is sitting inside a box, happily imagining all the places they'll go, only to realize at some point that they aren't actually going anywhere. Is it reasonable for them to then become upset that they haven't reached their destination? Is it the box's fault, or the idiot's for believing the box holds some magical transportive powers? Yet so many marriages break up because of the mistaken belief that the other person holds the keys to the universe, only to crumble when the truth comes to light.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and decry the need to have love in your life. Yes, we should have people to love. God made Eve for Adam, saying that it wasn't right for him to be alone. We need people around us to practice giving and receiving love and affection. The problem is when we elevate that person to God's place. Yes, we should love and trust people. Yes, we should let them into our hearts and allow for the merging of two separate lives. No, we should not believe that they can provide complete fulfillment of all out hopes and dreams. Companionship, yes. Fulfillment, no.

Thoughts of Next Year...And Beyond!

Okay, so I had a meeting with the "powers that be" about what I'd like to teach next year. Basically, one of the girls really likes my teaching style and I think she's probably prone to help me out as a result. While we were in Chiang Mai, she said that when she'd thought I'd be leaving for China, she'd thought about asking me to teach a class management workshop for some of the teachers to give them some ideas. Pretty cool. Anyway, on my intent form, I indicated that I'd like to teach any grade under third, including kindergarten. They wanted to talk to me about that, and I told them how I loved teaching kindergarten, but understood that they're more prone to place un-credentialed teachers there. Long story short, there are so many returning teachers this year that they're putting me in K1 (2-3 year olds) and placing me in a semi-supervisory position for the grade level. Pretty cool! I'm seriously so excited that it's a bit hard at times to remember that I still have to teach 3 more months before I can really start thinking about next year.

Speaking of 3 more months, I'm beginning to get a bit homesick. My nephew, Noah, is the one I'm missing the most. He's turning 4 next week. All I want to do is give him a huge hug and then tickle the life out of him so I can hear him laugh. I miss taking him for walks and singing with him. There are other people of course that I also miss--friends and family--but right now, I just want a hug from my Noah.

I haven't been on any adventures since my last update, which is not too unusual seeing as it was only about a week ago, and I'm battling a nasty bug that's been making the rounds around the school. As a result, my weekend was pretty laid back. We had a water fight at the end of school on Friday, which was a lot of fun. Saturday, I took the river taxi into Bangkok and got an awesome massage from my favorite place. They were having a special, so it was 90 minutes for 300 bhat, which is about $10 USD. Like I said, awesome. Other than that, I just rested and tried not to get any sicker. Bleh.

Plans for next year

Okay, I give in. I surrender the idea that I will ever be able to do the long accounts of what I've been up to. It seems that I'm constantly excited to blog about one adventure, but before it happens, I go on a new one. Then, I think that I can't record the new one because I haven't said anything about the previous one, and before I know it, I'm completely backed up and nothing is getting written. See why I don't keep a journal? So, rather than getting all wrapped up and writing nothing, I'll just stop by when I do have time at random moments to write about what I'm up to at the time.

Currently, the focus right now is on my plans for next year. As some of you know, I was flirting with the idea of teaching in China next year. The school I was looking at was awesome and had a lot of opportunities, but all I could think throughout the process was "I hope it's as awesome as GES." Then, I thought, "Hey, wait a minute, Self. If you like GES so much, why are you leaving?" Naturally, I had no answer for such a well thought out question, and so I've decided to teach another year at GES. Honestly, I truly do love my school, the people I work with, my students, and my new church community.

Speaking of my church, today was day 1 in a 12 week series based on the book The Search for Significance. As I just got the book today, I haven't read it yet. I'm looking forward to it, though, and I'm hoping to get a lot out of it.

In other news, I'm finally back on my exercise schedule (yay!) for the first time since October break. I've lost a lot of weight so far since I've been in Thailand, and I hope to lose even more. After all, I need to look hot for my friend, Zugey's, wedding in April!

Speaking of, I can't wait to be back in the States in 3 months. Thailand truly does feel like home, except for one important thing: family. I really miss my family, especially my nieces and nephews. I had a realization a few months back that my youngest, Abby Kate, will only know me as a face on a computer screen. I have no idea when or if I will live near family again. I thank God for modern technology, though. I can't imagine my only communication being through letters that take weeks to arrive. With Skype, I almost feel like I'm there. Except for the hugs. I miss the hugs.

Well, that's enough of my boring life for you. Sorry it's not filled with my time on the beach of Koh Sammed or my awesome time in Chiang Mai. Like I said earlier, I have to just write about things that I'm doing now. And what I'm doing now is waiting for my laundry cycle to finish. Ooh, thrilling!!