Some days I wonder, why do I keep writing here when no one reads what I say? Other days I wonder, how will my thoughtful insights on life effect the multitude of readers who hang on my every word? Most days I tell myself to shut up and get over myself. ;)
Well, it's the end of another wonderful week in Thailand. The weather has been very confused, though, as it's been raining a lot the last few days. Hey! It's way too early for monsoon season! We should have another 8 months or so! Oh well. I'll take the "coolness" for what it is, seeing as how the "holy-freaking-cow-it's-so-hot-I-don't-want-to-move!" season is coming. Of course, the mosquitoes are loving it, the dirty bloodsuckers.
I actually like stormy days, though. Thunderstorms have always been my favorite type of weather. There's really nothing quite like teaching a class full of 3-year-olds and having the lights flicker as the thunder rumbles outside. Imagine shrieks.
The week has been strange for other reasons besides the weather. I started the last weekend okay, until I was suddenly not. My abdominal area was in a lot of pain and walking and moving and little things like breathing were uncomfortable at best unless I took care. We had a field trip on Tuesday to a science museum, but when I woke up that morning, I was still in a lot of pain. I talked to my boss after the staff meeting, and arranged to have a sub go with my class so I could go to the hospital to get myself checked out. Honestly, if it had been a regular day I probably would have been fine, but the notion of walking and chasing after my kidlings was daunting.
So, I went to the hospital where they supposedly have more doctors who have a good ability for speaking English. Normally, I've had quite a bit of success at this place. That day was not my day. The doctor believed I was a virgin, but then gave me medicine for an STD. Hmm.
In any case, I woke up the next morning with the pain suddenly gone. It was wonderful! I just wish that it had happened the day before so that I'd been able to go with my kids. Mai pen rai (oh well). I am still planning on following up at another hospital in Bangkok ( a really good one) just to get checked out because the pain was not okay.
So, Wednesday I woke up with the pain in my abdomen gone, but instead, I had a weird irritation in my eye. It has persisted until today, and I'm starting to think that I may have actually gotten a small cut on my eye since it hasn't gone away nor has it moved in several days.
Now here's the fun part. Today I was walking down the street and I wasn't paying attention and I slipped off the curb and completely fell on the sidewalk. Not only that, but I fell directly in a massive puddle filled with gross street water. It took me a little while to get over my shock and stand up. Once I did, my entire left side was drenched with nasty water, I had cuts on my hand and knee, and all of this was in front of an audience of workers at the shop I'd fallen in front of, all of whom are male Thais who already tend to stare at the farang females walking past every day.
Fortunately, my mishap happened when I was at the start of my long break so I could rest my poor body for awhile.And even more fortunate, it happened on Friday, so I have the weekend to try and recover. Now if I can just stay together long enough to go to the gym and work off some serious calories while I clear my head.
Dare to dream.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Teaching Grade 2...again (for 6 days) ;)
Hey ya'll! I don't have a lot of time right now, but I realized it's been awhile since I posted, so I thought I'd rectify the situation. School has resumed from Christmas Break and we are now in the home stretch until the end of the year. Due to the flood closing our school for 3 additional weeks in October, there are now no longer any vacation days or teacher work days left. This is actually preferable for me, as I have a little trouble getting motivated about planning a week with only a few school days in it.
Last week, I finished up subbing for Grade 2, which I took over while my friend, Andrea, was in Canada for her brother's wedding. Grade 2 is a difficult class this year, and it's worked out better if I sub for her rather than a volunteer, instead having the volunteer teach K1 for me. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed teaching older kids. You can actually talk to them and have a conversation. My favorite part is teaching devotions at the beginning of the year. We were learning a verse from Hebrews 12:2--"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sits at the right hand of the throne of God." I loved talking to them about "enduring" and "scorning" and "shame". The best part, though, was when one of the other teachers told me that a student had relayed what I had talked about to her during a tutoring time. Apparently, I'd gotten through and he remembered what I had said. These are the reasons why I teach.
Anyway, I'm back now with my little guys, and I'm really happy. I still get excited about the fact that I'm paid to do a job I love and would probably do for free (you know, if I didn't have those pesky things like debt, expenses, or the need for money to do fun things).
So, drop me a line. What has God done lately that's excited you?
Until next time!
Last week, I finished up subbing for Grade 2, which I took over while my friend, Andrea, was in Canada for her brother's wedding. Grade 2 is a difficult class this year, and it's worked out better if I sub for her rather than a volunteer, instead having the volunteer teach K1 for me. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed teaching older kids. You can actually talk to them and have a conversation. My favorite part is teaching devotions at the beginning of the year. We were learning a verse from Hebrews 12:2--"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sits at the right hand of the throne of God." I loved talking to them about "enduring" and "scorning" and "shame". The best part, though, was when one of the other teachers told me that a student had relayed what I had talked about to her during a tutoring time. Apparently, I'd gotten through and he remembered what I had said. These are the reasons why I teach.
Anyway, I'm back now with my little guys, and I'm really happy. I still get excited about the fact that I'm paid to do a job I love and would probably do for free (you know, if I didn't have those pesky things like debt, expenses, or the need for money to do fun things).
So, drop me a line. What has God done lately that's excited you?
Until next time!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Lessons from 2011
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
We made it through 2011! Halleluiah!
For many people I've talked to, 2011 has proved to be a very difficult year. Some have been struggling with finding God's purpose in their lives and submitting to His will. Some have had to struggle against their own demons and spiritual attacks. A few have not even seen the attacks. Some have had to deal with deaths of loved ones. In Thailand, we are still recovering from the floods of October and November. There is a lot of turmoil here that is unlikely to settle for quite awhile. Back in the States, there is unrest, dissatisfaction, and what seems to be a loss of hope in the face of a daunting problem. There has been separation, isolation, desolation, and a lot of other "tions" throughout the year. It's enough to wear someone down with the relentless onslaught of trials.
That's the bad news.
Here's the good stuff.
Throughout it all, there has been one constant. GOD is GOOD! ALL the TIME! His goodness is not dependent on the circumstances around us. His strength is not reliant on how calm the world at large is. His love is enough!
I'm sure there are some who might read this and think "well yeah, sure, it's easy to SAY God is good and that He's enough, but you have no idea the shit I've been through." True, I don't know a lot of what is going on with friends and family on the other side of the globe, but I can definitively say that God has shown His greatness and love to me in very real ways this year.
And now, it's Story Time. WARNING: The following contains a lot of emotion that may not be suitable for those who don't give a shit. ;) Oh, and some language, too. If you have no desire to read about the details of my life, please feel free to skip this post. No hard feelings, I promise. You already caught the gist in the first section of this blog.
About 4 months ago, I was struggling with some heavy emotions. Every so often, I become paranoid that I am annoying those around me and that my presence is undesired. In response, I usually withdraw from socialization and try to become as invisible as possible. Unfortunately, this tends to manifest as me being rude. In short, I was very unpleasant to be around. I did this for about a good month before it all blew up in my face. One of my roommates finally blew up at me, called me on my ridiculous behavior, and told me in no uncertain terms that she truly did have no desire to be around me with my present behavior.
Did it hurt? Hell yes. Was it necessary? Absolutely.
I threw myself a pity party for a few hours afterwards in which I succumbed to the usual thoughts that might follow such an encounter about what a horrible person I am and how useless I am and how incapable I am of doing anything right. (Did you catch how many of those statements were centered around me? Yeah, all of them.)
God in His mercy did not leave me to wallow for too much time, though, because it wasn't long before He whacked me upside the head and told me to knock it off. He reminded me that it;s not through my own effort that I can do anything right anyway, so why am I so upset when I fail? It's when I rely on myself that I get into these messes. He reminded me that, yes it was a true image of the sinful side of my nature, but it was not the complete picture. Jesus' blood has redeemed me. He has given me worth because it pleased Him to do it. No other reason. It was through hitting the end of my strength that I realized how strong He is.
I take absolutely no credit for this revelation. I've hit the bottom several times in my life, and this was without a doubt the fastest I've ever bounced back. Once I started to look back to Jesus, it was as though a weight I hadn't even known I'd been carrying had been removed. I began thanking God for the breaking almost immediately because I knew that the healing would soon follow. (Hosea 6:1-3)
God continued to show His grace in the weeks that followed. He allowed me to continue loving my roommate even when she was resisting reconciliation. He gave me wisdom and words to heal our relationship and be a real friend to her, not one who left once it became inconvenient. He eventually healed our friendship so that we are now nearly as close as we were before. In many ways, we are closer because we have more of a reason to trust each other.
This was the big story in my life that happened this year. Was there more? Of course, but the point remains the same. When we listen to God and allow Him to work in our lives, it becomes so blatantly clear that He is in control, no matter what it may seem like. Is my story of seeing God the same as someone else's who lost a loved one or had a serious crisis? No, but that's another realization that I had made clear to me throughout the year. God gives each of us our own trials. We can't look at someone else's struggles and say that ours is either heavier or pettier that theirs because we are not the same people. Stop comparing! The secret to a happy life is not to compare yourself to others to see where you fit or even to only look after your own interests and ignore those around you. Jesus said it Himself when He told us that whoever holds their own lives loosely will find it. Look to God and help those around you. You'll usually find that your needs are taken care of as you do so.
In closing, I'd like to end with the words my friend taught me as a wish for myself and for you to make the most of 2012.
Love God
Love Others
Repeat
God bless!
We made it through 2011! Halleluiah!
For many people I've talked to, 2011 has proved to be a very difficult year. Some have been struggling with finding God's purpose in their lives and submitting to His will. Some have had to struggle against their own demons and spiritual attacks. A few have not even seen the attacks. Some have had to deal with deaths of loved ones. In Thailand, we are still recovering from the floods of October and November. There is a lot of turmoil here that is unlikely to settle for quite awhile. Back in the States, there is unrest, dissatisfaction, and what seems to be a loss of hope in the face of a daunting problem. There has been separation, isolation, desolation, and a lot of other "tions" throughout the year. It's enough to wear someone down with the relentless onslaught of trials.
That's the bad news.
Here's the good stuff.
Throughout it all, there has been one constant. GOD is GOOD! ALL the TIME! His goodness is not dependent on the circumstances around us. His strength is not reliant on how calm the world at large is. His love is enough!
I'm sure there are some who might read this and think "well yeah, sure, it's easy to SAY God is good and that He's enough, but you have no idea the shit I've been through." True, I don't know a lot of what is going on with friends and family on the other side of the globe, but I can definitively say that God has shown His greatness and love to me in very real ways this year.
And now, it's Story Time. WARNING: The following contains a lot of emotion that may not be suitable for those who don't give a shit. ;) Oh, and some language, too. If you have no desire to read about the details of my life, please feel free to skip this post. No hard feelings, I promise. You already caught the gist in the first section of this blog.
About 4 months ago, I was struggling with some heavy emotions. Every so often, I become paranoid that I am annoying those around me and that my presence is undesired. In response, I usually withdraw from socialization and try to become as invisible as possible. Unfortunately, this tends to manifest as me being rude. In short, I was very unpleasant to be around. I did this for about a good month before it all blew up in my face. One of my roommates finally blew up at me, called me on my ridiculous behavior, and told me in no uncertain terms that she truly did have no desire to be around me with my present behavior.
Did it hurt? Hell yes. Was it necessary? Absolutely.
I threw myself a pity party for a few hours afterwards in which I succumbed to the usual thoughts that might follow such an encounter about what a horrible person I am and how useless I am and how incapable I am of doing anything right. (Did you catch how many of those statements were centered around me? Yeah, all of them.)
God in His mercy did not leave me to wallow for too much time, though, because it wasn't long before He whacked me upside the head and told me to knock it off. He reminded me that it;s not through my own effort that I can do anything right anyway, so why am I so upset when I fail? It's when I rely on myself that I get into these messes. He reminded me that, yes it was a true image of the sinful side of my nature, but it was not the complete picture. Jesus' blood has redeemed me. He has given me worth because it pleased Him to do it. No other reason. It was through hitting the end of my strength that I realized how strong He is.
I take absolutely no credit for this revelation. I've hit the bottom several times in my life, and this was without a doubt the fastest I've ever bounced back. Once I started to look back to Jesus, it was as though a weight I hadn't even known I'd been carrying had been removed. I began thanking God for the breaking almost immediately because I knew that the healing would soon follow. (Hosea 6:1-3)
God continued to show His grace in the weeks that followed. He allowed me to continue loving my roommate even when she was resisting reconciliation. He gave me wisdom and words to heal our relationship and be a real friend to her, not one who left once it became inconvenient. He eventually healed our friendship so that we are now nearly as close as we were before. In many ways, we are closer because we have more of a reason to trust each other.
This was the big story in my life that happened this year. Was there more? Of course, but the point remains the same. When we listen to God and allow Him to work in our lives, it becomes so blatantly clear that He is in control, no matter what it may seem like. Is my story of seeing God the same as someone else's who lost a loved one or had a serious crisis? No, but that's another realization that I had made clear to me throughout the year. God gives each of us our own trials. We can't look at someone else's struggles and say that ours is either heavier or pettier that theirs because we are not the same people. Stop comparing! The secret to a happy life is not to compare yourself to others to see where you fit or even to only look after your own interests and ignore those around you. Jesus said it Himself when He told us that whoever holds their own lives loosely will find it. Look to God and help those around you. You'll usually find that your needs are taken care of as you do so.
In closing, I'd like to end with the words my friend taught me as a wish for myself and for you to make the most of 2012.
Love God
Love Others
Repeat
God bless!
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