China 2012--Day 1

Well, technically, I guess this was day 2, since we arrived the night before, but the adventure of finding our hostel pales in comparison to the tale of being in China, so, On with the story!

To welcome us fully into the notion of no longer being in a tropical country, Beijing very graciously decided to have a “cold,” damp day.  It was about 60* so I do feel justified in labeling it as cold.  To me, it felt like it was freezing.  Seriously.  I was wearing my warmest clothes, which admittedly were not all that warm, and just tried to keep moving.

Our first morning was spent by being introduced to the Chinese public transportation system.  For 2 RMB (6 RMB = 1 USD), you can ride the rather extensive subway system, including as many transfers as you need.  It was a rather efficient and inexpensive way to get around, crowded though it may be.  At the time we were doing it, however, I felt very commiserative of rats in a maze as we traveled the walled corridors that twisted underneath the busy streets of Beijing.  Thank goodness we were traveling with someone very familiar with the system.  Having him there spared my certain fate of being a lonely foreigner wandering around with wide eyes pleading for someone to help me find my way home.  It was even more confusing for me than Hwy 1.

Anyway, after the labyrinth of walkways and transfers, we again emerged to the topside to make our way quickly through the crowded streets.  Apparently, people in China really like to make their whereabouts known audibly by employing horns and bells with great gusto.  They certainly preferred using a horn more than using their brakes.  As our friend told us, ‘using the crosswalk really just means you have slightly better odds of making it to the other side.’  Interestingly, there were few raised walkways, so you really just had to take a deep breath and go for it with eyes wide open.  Yes, Mom, I looked both ways.  The traffic was going in the other direction from Thailand; it was a necessity.

Finally, after much hard-paced walking, we arrived at our destination.  Church.  Yes, you read that right.  My first day in China, I was able to openly go to an international church.  Of course, the reason why it was out in the open was because only foreigners were allowed.  No Chinese were permitted.  It was enforced by the Chinese police, and we had to bring our passports to prove we were in fact not Chinese.  I know, I know.  Looking at me, you’d never be able to guess at my Caucasian lineage.

The service was, in a word, awesome.  The worship band was mostly comprised of Africans who had just returned from a worship camp and had determined that they were going to bring us all to Africa with them that day.  We must have spent about 10 minutes singing the same song in a dozen different languages.  It was really cool.  I love hearing our God worshiped in different tongues.  It’s like a glimpse of what Heaven will be like.

After the service, we went to Subway (eat fresh!) for lunch.  Yum!  There’s nothing like traveling all over Asia and eating at Western franchises.  Oh well.  It was still nice to have a real sandwich.

By the time we were ready to head back to the hostel, it was drizzling.  I have to call it drizzling, because after 3 monsoon seasons in Thailand, I just can’t call it actual rain.  It was interesting being cold after the rain, though.  I hadn’t felt that in several years.  I haven’t really missed it.

We were all fairly damp after walking back, so the idea of wandering around the area for a bit was scrapped.  Instead, we played some cards in the hostel, ate some dinner, and then ventured out to do some KTV.  Oh, yes.  Karaoke Television.  It was epic.  What really made it, though, were the 2 tambourines in the room.  Between them and the two mics, we were all participants.

And that was the end of Day 1.

Plaster and Praise

Hello to all, near and far!

I have absolutely no excuses for my protracted absence from blogging.  Somehow, I looked up and 3 months had passed without me fully realizing it.  Work continues to go well.  My students this year are not only adorable, but also very bright.  I'm loving coming up with new ways to stretch them.  I started a new curriculum this year, and it has really helped me improve on my teaching ability.  I'm bonding more with my Thai teacher, Kru Som, and we're now at the point where we can joke with each other and discuss our students more.  My Thai is still embarrassingly minimal, but I think she appreciates the effort, even if she does laugh at my pronunciation at times.

This year, I have 2 new roommates, Bekah and Sarah.  They're both very sweet, and I've appreciated getting to know them.  Bekah teaches art for grades 1-12 (no small feat!), and Sarah is a student teacher for grade 2.

We had a bit of a rocky start this year in Kindergarten regarding the health aspect.  Sarah, the K3 teacher, had surgery on her foot over the break, so she came back to school with a cast and crutches.  A few weeks after she got off the crutches, Andi, the K2 teacher, fell off a roof (long story) and bruised her heal and fractured a vertebra.  She got off the crutches several weeks ago, but is still in a back brace for a few more months.

Well, apparently my body decided that just getting sick 3 times in 3 months wasn't glamorous enough, and yesterday, I joined the league of Kinder teachers on crutches.  Basically, I managed to strain the juncture where the calf muscle meets the Achilles tendon on my right leg, and I now have a non-plaster cast.  Andi was kind enough to loan me her crutches.  I sincerely hope they will be retired when I'm finished with them in a few weeks.

So what is the point of all this?  The entire faculty have been plagued by sickness this year, much more than usual.  Fortunately, I have seen people coming together and supporting each other through meeting their needs.  I definitely feel very loved, as I've had more people checking up on me in the last 24 hrs than any other time I've been in need.  I'm happy to know that there are so many good people close by who I can call on if I need them.

So far, this year is shaping into a time for me to learn more about community, how to contribute as well as how to receive.  Being a proud and stubborn person, it's difficult to admit to need or to accept help, but God in His mercy is continuing to give me opportunities to practice.

That's really what it comes down to.  Ultimately, all circumstances are under His jurisdiction.  Nothing can happen that is outside of His will or outside of His permission.  He allows for strife, because that is the only way for us to grow.  It is through recognizing our weaknesses that we can see how He has provided His strength.  It is under flames and persecution that we become firm in the truth.  God is in His heaven, and all creation gives Him praise, if we just take the time to listen.  If our God is for us, who can be against us?  If our God goes before us, what can stand against?  Thanks be to God, we do not need to conquer the enemy.  He's already won.  Our call now is just to stand.

Stand.

A-Mazing Cookie Recipe!

Hello all! 

This is a break from my traditional posts, as I've been requested by some to share a cookie recipe that I recently have been trying out.  Enjoy!

Amaretto Chunk Cookies

2 ½ Cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

½ tsp salt

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

1 cup packed brown sugar

½ cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 tbsp amaretto liqueur

1 tsp almond extract

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup sweetened flaked coconut

1.       Preheat oven to 375*.  Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt

2.       In large bowl, beat butter and sugars until creamy.  Beat in eggs, amaretto, and extracts.  Beat in flour mixture until just blended.  Stir in chocolate chips and coconut.

3.       Drop dough on ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake 10-12 minutes until golden brown. 

Closing Time...

...every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Well, the school year has finally ended! For our last day, we had a beach theme. The kids came in beach clothes and we played water games for about an hour outside. Then, we changed into dry clothes, had lunch, watched a movie, and that was it for their last day of K-1. It was very bittersweet to see them go. I have come to really love each of those students, and I will miss teaching them. I am looking forward to the next batch, though.

I have a few more weeks before I'll be headed back to the States. I'm leaving on Sunday to go to Kho Chang with some friends. I'm really looking forward to spending some good quality time with the beach. That trip will be for a few days. I'm not positive on how to spend my remaining time. Most of the teachers here will be going back to the States this week, though my "outside GES friends" will still be here.

I'm really looking forward to going back home. I miss being around my friends and family. I'm also very excited about going to the East coast to see my family over there. I can't wait to be a tourist in DC again! There's something special about being a tourist in your own country. I also have a wedding to look forward to. Woohoo! So many plans! So many people to see! Now to hope that I have enough resources to do all that I hope to. :)

No Choice!

An interesting aspect about the Christian faith is that to truly follow it, you must surrender all of your rights. To truly allow God to work out His justice in your life, you must become defenseless of any armor that does not come from Him. We are told that our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness. Because our struggle is not against flesh and blood, we have no call to use the weapons of flesh and blood.

This was a really hard concept for me to grasp, and it still is at times. When people wrong me, I want to react in a fleshly way. I want to fight back, to wound, to draw just as much blood as has been drawn from me. I want retaliation. I want justice!

And then I remember that justice was done away with at the cross.

To live under justice means to remove yourself from the cover of grace. The absurdity of the Christian faith is that people are not dealt with justly in the way that we define justice. Under the law of justice, we all deserve to go to Hell. None of us deserve to be in God's presence. None of us are good enough or smart enough to be considered an equal with God. None of us can come close to God without His provision. Grace wipes away what we deserve and replaces it with His love.

To deny anyone else that freely given love and grace would be the blackest of returns. Jesus Himself said that if we insist on holding others accountable to the law, then we will also be held to the same standard. Unfortunately, the standard is such that we all fail.

So what does that mean? People can do whatever they want to me without any form of repercussion? I just sit there and take it? It took me awhile to say it, but yes. Yes, you take it.

Does this mean I become a doormat who lets everyone take advantage of me? Not necessarily. We are urged to be as innocent as doves and as cunning as foxes. Yes, take care of yourself, but do it all while honoring God.

This is made easier when you realize who it is that you are dealing with. Every person you meet is a child of God. Each one has their own stories to tell and each one has been crafted by God's hands. God is a protective Father, and He does not take it lightly when people come between Him and His children. It puts a bit of fear in me when I consider how my actions might be preventing someone from having a full and healthy relationship with God. Whether or not they choose to have that relationship, I do not want to be the person standing in the way.

The hard truth is that we are left with no real choice. I have no choice about forgiving someone who has hurt me. I have no choice about showing someone love. I have no choice about treating someone with respect. Each person has a fingerprint of God, and I am left with no uncertain instructions about how I ought to treat them.

Is this easy when I become frustrated or angry or irritated? Of course not. That's why He gave us the Holy Spirit to help tap into His great love and mercy. There is no way I have enough love in my tiny, bitter heart to forgive anyone more than once, and even then it's half-hearted. With God, all things are possible, even loving those whose hurts cut the deepest.

I should probably point out here that I in no way execute this with any degree of proficiency. By God's grace, He has been transforming me more and more into His image, but I am certainly nowhere near completion. The wonderful thing about God is that He doesn't ask for perfection. He asks for my cold, tattered remnant of a heart and offers to replace it with His own. How can I turn down such an offer?

Practice, practice, practice!

My heart is too full. I want to share what is happening. First of all, may I begin by saying that GOD IS GOOD!!! ALL THE TIME!!!

As I look back on the past school year, two things are made blindingly clear: the enemy is actively at work against us, and that God's grace really is enough. I have had my highest highs and my lowest lows, and God has taught me how to praise Him in both. I don't do it perfectly, but if nothing else can be said for this year, it's that He has given me lots of opportunities to practice trusting and praising Him. (for details, please refer back to previous entries!)

God has been stripping me of my dependence on anyone other than Him. This sounds uncomfortable, and it is, but it's also necessary. Last week, my pastor was asking if we could have none of the gifts God gives except for Himself, would He still be enough? I can honestly answer that yes, He is enough for me. I won't lie, on the outside I'm very comfortable. I have plenty of food, a safe and secure home, clothes on my back, a job that is very fulfilling, and I'm surrounded by people who are also seeking to serve God. On the outside, my life seems wonderful, and in many ways it is.

It does not come without a cost, though.

By being in Thailand, I have missed out on many things back in the States. I have not been able to see my nephews and nieces grow up. I have not been able to be there for my parents as I was before. I have not had the comfort and security most people take for granted of being able to hold a conversation with anyone I meet, such as taxi drivers, servers, or people I meet while traveling.

Instead of comforts, I've been given something else. Challenge.

For people who know me, I'm not exactly big on fighting. Endurance is NOT my strong suit. I usually strive for "good enough." I'm not likely to be the person who undertakes a challenge just for the fun of it. However, I do try to be the kind of person who is sensitive to God's calling. So even though I don't seek out challenges, I do endure them when God tells me to. This has definitely been a year of God telling me to endure, no matter how many times I've cried out against Him to let me rest. Instead of rest, He does something better; He gives me the strength I need.

(Almost) the End of the School Year!!

Wow! It has certainly been awile since I've last updated. I have a reason for that. I was sick for 3 weeks. I find that funny, considering I got sick just a few days after my last post in which I hoped I would stop getting sick and/or injured. Ironies of life, eh? Well, Long story short, I was very sick for awhile there with a virus. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do with a virus except wait for it to go away. This resulted in me missing 2 weeks of teaching.

Typically, this would simply be an uncomfortable illness, but there were several other factors involved in this story. First of all, ALL of our administrators (English) were out of the country, leaving a competent Thai staff with limited English speaking skills and a few delegates to handle specific tasks, such as arranging for subs. This also coincided with the timing of 2 babies being born to teachers at our campus, which resulted in the 2 subs that we had going back and forth covering for the classes so that the families could bond. This left my poor Thai teacher with no subs for about 3 out of the 6 days I couldn't teach. Kru Som is definitely a rock star!

Aside from the administrative aspect, the 7-11 down our street was closed for a month to remodel it. This meant that I couldn't stock up on food and drinks (because I don't buy groceries here. It's cheaper to eat out for every meal, believe it or not). On the plus side, I was able to lose a good bit of weight! On the bad side, it was very difficult to stay hydrated.

This was my first time really being sick on my own. I had no family or friends to help, and I was too proud to ask, so I learned a lot about independence during this time. I learned anew about the uselessness of whining and found within me the drive to keep going. I learned to prioritize and that I can accomplish anything if it's important enough to me. It made me stronger. Well, emotionally anyway.

My favorite part, though, was going back to work. There is one little boy whom I have been having a lot of trouble with all year. He wasn't sure about whether or not he liked me, and we were engaged in a power struggle for a good 5-6 months. He's 3!! Well, when I came back, he made it clear that he'd really missed me. Ever since I've been back (going on 3 weeks now), he's been continuously seeking my approval and being openly affectionate (in his own way). If for nothing else, being sick was worth the victory of getting through to that little guy. Just in time for the school year to end. :P



6 more weeks, and I will be back in California!! I've missed my family and friends, and I can't wait to see them all again. I'm not sure what next year will bring when I return to Thailand in June, but I know that it is in God's hands. Throughout the entire year, He has made His presence known to me. He has been there in the highs as well as the extreme lows that have pervaded my second year abroad. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me next!

My Humpty Dumpty Week

Some days I wonder, why do I keep writing here when no one reads what I say? Other days I wonder, how will my thoughtful insights on life effect the multitude of readers who hang on my every word? Most days I tell myself to shut up and get over myself. ;)

Well, it's the end of another wonderful week in Thailand. The weather has been very confused, though, as it's been raining a lot the last few days. Hey! It's way too early for monsoon season! We should have another 8 months or so! Oh well. I'll take the "coolness" for what it is, seeing as how the "holy-freaking-cow-it's-so-hot-I-don't-want-to-move!" season is coming. Of course, the mosquitoes are loving it, the dirty bloodsuckers.

I actually like stormy days, though. Thunderstorms have always been my favorite type of weather. There's really nothing quite like teaching a class full of 3-year-olds and having the lights flicker as the thunder rumbles outside. Imagine shrieks.

The week has been strange for other reasons besides the weather. I started the last weekend okay, until I was suddenly not. My abdominal area was in a lot of pain and walking and moving and little things like breathing were uncomfortable at best unless I took care. We had a field trip on Tuesday to a science museum, but when I woke up that morning, I was still in a lot of pain. I talked to my boss after the staff meeting, and arranged to have a sub go with my class so I could go to the hospital to get myself checked out. Honestly, if it had been a regular day I probably would have been fine, but the notion of walking and chasing after my kidlings was daunting.

So, I went to the hospital where they supposedly have more doctors who have a good ability for speaking English. Normally, I've had quite a bit of success at this place. That day was not my day. The doctor believed I was a virgin, but then gave me medicine for an STD. Hmm.

In any case, I woke up the next morning with the pain suddenly gone. It was wonderful! I just wish that it had happened the day before so that I'd been able to go with my kids. Mai pen rai (oh well). I am still planning on following up at another hospital in Bangkok ( a really good one) just to get checked out because the pain was not okay.

So, Wednesday I woke up with the pain in my abdomen gone, but instead, I had a weird irritation in my eye. It has persisted until today, and I'm starting to think that I may have actually gotten a small cut on my eye since it hasn't gone away nor has it moved in several days.

Now here's the fun part. Today I was walking down the street and I wasn't paying attention and I slipped off the curb and completely fell on the sidewalk. Not only that, but I fell directly in a massive puddle filled with gross street water. It took me a little while to get over my shock and stand up. Once I did, my entire left side was drenched with nasty water, I had cuts on my hand and knee, and all of this was in front of an audience of workers at the shop I'd fallen in front of, all of whom are male Thais who already tend to stare at the farang females walking past every day.

Fortunately, my mishap happened when I was at the start of my long break so I could rest my poor body for awhile.And even more fortunate, it happened on Friday, so I have the weekend to try and recover. Now if I can just stay together long enough to go to the gym and work off some serious calories while I clear my head.

Dare to dream.

Teaching Grade 2...again (for 6 days) ;)

Hey ya'll! I don't have a lot of time right now, but I realized it's been awhile since I posted, so I thought I'd rectify the situation. School has resumed from Christmas Break and we are now in the home stretch until the end of the year. Due to the flood closing our school for 3 additional weeks in October, there are now no longer any vacation days or teacher work days left. This is actually preferable for me, as I have a little trouble getting motivated about planning a week with only a few school days in it.

Last week, I finished up subbing for Grade 2, which I took over while my friend, Andrea, was in Canada for her brother's wedding. Grade 2 is a difficult class this year, and it's worked out better if I sub for her rather than a volunteer, instead having the volunteer teach K1 for me. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed teaching older kids. You can actually talk to them and have a conversation. My favorite part is teaching devotions at the beginning of the year. We were learning a verse from Hebrews 12:2--"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sits at the right hand of the throne of God." I loved talking to them about "enduring" and "scorning" and "shame". The best part, though, was when one of the other teachers told me that a student had relayed what I had talked about to her during a tutoring time. Apparently, I'd gotten through and he remembered what I had said. These are the reasons why I teach.

Anyway, I'm back now with my little guys, and I'm really happy. I still get excited about the fact that I'm paid to do a job I love and would probably do for free (you know, if I didn't have those pesky things like debt, expenses, or the need for money to do fun things).

So, drop me a line. What has God done lately that's excited you?

Until next time!

Lessons from 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

We made it through 2011! Halleluiah!

For many people I've talked to, 2011 has proved to be a very difficult year. Some have been struggling with finding God's purpose in their lives and submitting to His will. Some have had to struggle against their own demons and spiritual attacks. A few have not even seen the attacks. Some have had to deal with deaths of loved ones. In Thailand, we are still recovering from the floods of October and November. There is a lot of turmoil here that is unlikely to settle for quite awhile. Back in the States, there is unrest, dissatisfaction, and what seems to be a loss of hope in the face of a daunting problem. There has been separation, isolation, desolation, and a lot of other "tions" throughout the year. It's enough to wear someone down with the relentless onslaught of trials.

That's the bad news.

Here's the good stuff.

Throughout it all, there has been one constant. GOD is GOOD! ALL the TIME! His goodness is not dependent on the circumstances around us. His strength is not reliant on how calm the world at large is. His love is enough!

I'm sure there are some who might read this and think "well yeah, sure, it's easy to SAY God is good and that He's enough, but you have no idea the shit I've been through." True, I don't know a lot of what is going on with friends and family on the other side of the globe, but I can definitively say that God has shown His greatness and love to me in very real ways this year.

And now, it's Story Time. WARNING: The following contains a lot of emotion that may not be suitable for those who don't give a shit. ;) Oh, and some language, too. If you have no desire to read about the details of my life, please feel free to skip this post. No hard feelings, I promise. You already caught the gist in the first section of this blog.

About 4 months ago, I was struggling with some heavy emotions. Every so often, I become paranoid that I am annoying those around me and that my presence is undesired. In response, I usually withdraw from socialization and try to become as invisible as possible. Unfortunately, this tends to manifest as me being rude. In short, I was very unpleasant to be around. I did this for about a good month before it all blew up in my face. One of my roommates finally blew up at me, called me on my ridiculous behavior, and told me in no uncertain terms that she truly did have no desire to be around me with my present behavior.

Did it hurt? Hell yes. Was it necessary? Absolutely.

I threw myself a pity party for a few hours afterwards in which I succumbed to the usual thoughts that might follow such an encounter about what a horrible person I am and how useless I am and how incapable I am of doing anything right. (Did you catch how many of those statements were centered around me? Yeah, all of them.)

God in His mercy did not leave me to wallow for too much time, though, because it wasn't long before He whacked me upside the head and told me to knock it off. He reminded me that it;s not through my own effort that I can do anything right anyway, so why am I so upset when I fail? It's when I rely on myself that I get into these messes. He reminded me that, yes it was a true image of the sinful side of my nature, but it was not the complete picture. Jesus' blood has redeemed me. He has given me worth because it pleased Him to do it. No other reason. It was through hitting the end of my strength that I realized how strong He is.

I take absolutely no credit for this revelation. I've hit the bottom several times in my life, and this was without a doubt the fastest I've ever bounced back. Once I started to look back to Jesus, it was as though a weight I hadn't even known I'd been carrying had been removed. I began thanking God for the breaking almost immediately because I knew that the healing would soon follow. (Hosea 6:1-3)

God continued to show His grace in the weeks that followed. He allowed me to continue loving my roommate even when she was resisting reconciliation. He gave me wisdom and words to heal our relationship and be a real friend to her, not one who left once it became inconvenient. He eventually healed our friendship so that we are now nearly as close as we were before. In many ways, we are closer because we have more of a reason to trust each other.

This was the big story in my life that happened this year. Was there more? Of course, but the point remains the same. When we listen to God and allow Him to work in our lives, it becomes so blatantly clear that He is in control, no matter what it may seem like. Is my story of seeing God the same as someone else's who lost a loved one or had a serious crisis? No, but that's another realization that I had made clear to me throughout the year. God gives each of us our own trials. We can't look at someone else's struggles and say that ours is either heavier or pettier that theirs because we are not the same people. Stop comparing! The secret to a happy life is not to compare yourself to others to see where you fit or even to only look after your own interests and ignore those around you. Jesus said it Himself when He told us that whoever holds their own lives loosely will find it. Look to God and help those around you. You'll usually find that your needs are taken care of as you do so.

In closing, I'd like to end with the words my friend taught me as a wish for myself and for you to make the most of 2012.

Love God
Love Others
Repeat

God bless!